Resistance Is Futile

Life happens, that’s a fact. No matter how spiritual we are, no matter the kind of relationship we feel we have with the creator, sooner or later, challenges come up that we have to face. We live in a world where we do not only have our free will, but everyone’s free will.

There is a collective unconscious, and a collective Karma, as well as our own. We also have the lessons we agreed to learn before we incarnated into this life. And then the choices we have made – whether they were wise choices or not. There is cause and effect.

Sooner or later something will happen and we might feel like everything we have worked towards, all we have learned, is lost. We feel lost, we feel scared, angry, confused, hopeless. These feelings are natural of course, and then when we feel them we feel that we are back at square one.

We may feel that we have reached a stage where we “deserve” not to encounter such inconveniences again. I for one, when something like this happens, crumble for a moment. You are likely to find me, sat on the kitchen floor like a child, melting into tears. Expressing my anger and disappointment for a few moments. Letting the tide of emotion wash over me. Resistance is futile. The feelings are real. You can’t stuff them down. They will come again as illness in your body. As dis – ease. Neither can you find solutions when filled with the tension of these feelings.
You have to sit with them for a while. This is just one example.

Life is a rollercoaster. There are things outside of ourselves that we have no control over. War machines, bankruptcy of the companies we work for, car accidents, earthquakes. We can’t control other people’s choices or behaviours, we can’t control the forces of Mother Nature.
Resistance is futile. These things will happen no matter how evolved we are as individuals, at least until the whole world evolves.

If resistance is futile, and all of these things are out of our control, then what is in our control? Who is the one constant in our lives? We are. You are. You are the person that you will have known the longest in your life. You are the person with whom you are in relationship ALWAYS.

This is where the strength lies. I have been on a rollercoaster these last two years, of joy and sadness, of scary learning and empowering learning. What I have been crafting most is my relationship with myself. I have been learning how I tick on a much deeper level, and trust myself now. I am my own best friend, and I like who I am. In fact, sometimes, I think I’m a pretty cool person. It’s taken a lot of work. I know now that, no matter what happens, I will survive, learn and grow. I know how to get back on my throne when I get knocked off, as the Queen, the Goddess of my own life. Granted, I won’t enjoy it when these lessons come around, when life does a 360 on me, who would?

The time to cultivate this self-knowledge, and the tools and habits to help oneself get back on one’s throne, is when everything is going well. It takes work and discipline, but discipline in a beautiful way. Discipline is controlling your thoughts and words in order to cultivate unconditional love for oneself, to cultivate your life purpose, your dreams, and the ability to listen to and to know you deserve what you need at any given time.

Over the coming months I will be sharing tools and practices that can help to build this throne and to keep you on it, but there are two tools that I have always advocated that you can start right now.

1) Writing a journal – Yes I know. I am always harping on about self-awareness. But really, if you don’t understand who you really are and what makes you tick, what makes you stronger, then how can you make the most life affirming choices? Do yourself a favour – go to a bookstore or stationers and treat yourself to beautiful notebook or diary, one that inspires you to spend time with it. Maybe even a pen or two in your favourite colour. Write in it or draw in it at least three times a week. Your thoughts, feelings and experiences. Your dreams for the future.

2) Meditation – at least 15 minutes a day. You can listen to your breath, or say a mantra or repeat an affirmation, or even listen to a guided meditation. You can find plenty of free guided meditations online or even download one onto your device for your convenience. This will help you to develop the skill of listening to yourself, of presence and being mindful and accepting of what is happening in the present moment. It gives your body time to rejuvenate and slow down as well. It’s a win – win really, isn’t it?

I would love to hear your own thoughts and experiences – please feel free to share with me. Also, watch this space for details on how to receive practical tools and tips for developing your relationship with yourself, and how never to miss a blog again.

Wishing you love, and Angel blessings,

Lucy Loizou

Flow

In my last blog, I wrote about my newfound search for happiness and I mentioned that I would be getting back to you all and reporting on what I find. I’ve been using several techniques, but the most difference has occurred by my epiphany in my last blog that we are built to be happy, and that it is just and right to seek happiness.

I was sat in bed (my office – as those of you who know me well will know) and was thinking about the days when I am tired – or just after work when I am tired. Or when I have a large amount of time off work, and I feel like I should be resting, but I end up watching so much TV or playing so many computer games that I feel stuck in a rut. There are other times when I feel like a week’s holiday from work is so precious – that I can’t decide what to do with it. There are so many options for me – so much that I really want to achieve in my life, that I feel overwhelmed. I end up worrying that I would be enjoying something else more and so don’t relax into the task or pass – time that I am currently doing.

Does any of this sound familiar?

It doesn’t really sound very present or mindful does it?

There is this thing called “Flow” – I’m sure you’ve experienced it. You’re in the middle of a piece of writing or a consultation with a customer, for example, and time just seems to disappear. It’s as if you lose all traces of self-consciousness and your totally engrossed in the task or project in hand. You forget what day it is, what time it is, the rest of the world, and you feel at peace. Fully in the present moment. You feel great during and after this session – a feeling of satisfaction and then, you’re ready to let it go, and do something else.

“Attention is like energy in that without it no work can be done, and in doing work is dissipated. We create ourselves by how we use this energy. Memories, thoughts and feelings are all shaped by how use it. And it is an energy under control, to do with as we please; hence attention is our most important tool in the task of improving the quality of experience.”
― Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience
Doesn’t this feel like the perfect antidote to my experiences above?

What makes you feel like this? What kind of things bring about this feeling for you? I would like to invite you to write a list of them now. Go on, this blog will still be here when you get back.

There are moments when I’m at work or at home and I feel like I want to work on something, but i can’t quite put my finger on what I want to spend my time doing. Not even necessarily a project, just lacking some inspiration about how to spend my time. I have a feeling it may be because I don’t often get a day or a whole weekend to myself – having two teenagers at home. It’s quite a stuck murky feeling – and these are the times when I end up procrastinating and watching telly all day – but if i’m honest I’m not really enjoying it after the first movie or program, or after the first 45 minutes of gaming.

This morning – I wrote a list like the one I asked you to write above. Now, we are going to take a few moments to think of other projects that are important to us as well, that perhaps we have been putting off, but that we know – once we start them, we’ll get into flow and won’t want to stop. Redecorating anyone? Or how about clearing out that anything and everything draw? Add these to the list too.
It would be good for us as well to add important things like rest, play time, fun, and exercise to this list too.

Is your list ready?

Stick it up somewhere that is easily accessible (don’t worry – you can keep it private if you want to. But make sure you can get to it easily).

In our day-to-day lives, we are going to start connecting to ourselves more. Our emotions, and the physical sensations of our bodies. Are we tired? Hungry? Full of energy? Stressed? I usually pray, but you can do whatever process you feel comfortable using to get in touch with yourself – to find that place of calm in your centre. Ask yourself “what do I really want to do right now?”.
We may find that we get an immediate answer and don’t need to check our list, but if we don’t, we’ll go and look at our list and see which item draws our attention or inspires us, energizes us, the most.

Now we are going to devote at least half an hour to this item.

Don’t worry – if we get so engrossed and in the flow we can keep going with it until it no longer interests us or for up to a full hour.

Notice that I switched to using the word “we”? That was on purpose, because we are in this together. Rising tides lift all boats – not sure who first used that phrase – but it’s true. This is how I experience my flow and joy. What energizes me – inspiring myself and the people around me to live happier, more fulfilled lives,

So what do you think? Are you with me?

As always, I welcome your experiences, thoughts and feedback.

Peace, love and blessings,

Lucy Loizou