Being Your Own Best Friend

Fear of the name is worse than fear of the thing itself. Hermione Granger said it first I think. Referring to everyone’s fear of speaking about “He who must not be named” in the Harry Potter series.

I’ve learned this, in my own life, on an increasing level. All of my stress and anxiety stems from more fear of my feelings and my relationship with myself if the worst should happen, than the thing itself. I’m more afraid of how I will feel than the actual situation.

Does this sound familiar to you?

Another thing I have learned – there are some things in life that are beyond our control. Other people’s choices for example. Natural disasters. The state of the economy and businesses going bankrupt, leaving you out of a job. People deciding that maybe you are not the one for them. Out of all these things, the way we feel about ourselves is often worse than the situations surrounding us. The choices and reactions we make from this place of fear, from this place of powerlessness. The ugly part of ourselves we show when we feel challenged, when we, either consciously or unconsciously start to try to control and manipulate the people and the situations around us. The stress that accumulates from holding on too tightly to the way we feel, we believe, it’s supposed to be.

Sometimes I catch myself amidst all this inner turmoil and every fibre of my being shouts STOP! ENOUGH!. Sometimes I have to physically unclench my fists, or visualise my fists all clenched up and then release them. Sometimes I have to cry. Sometimes the crying is so strong that it feels like vomiting up my emotions, because I feel them so strongly in my stomach that my system can’t handle them anymore. Sometimes I feel like I am drowning in it all. I can’t be there for anyone anymore until I am there for myself. Oh the pain of being a highly sensitive person. The pain of being an Empath and not knowing exactly who’s feelings and fears are swirling around your body like a cyclone.

I have learnt to soften my body when I suddenly realise that all of this is going on. I let it wash over me. I feel all of it, and when I feel strong enough, I work on accepting it. On saying repeatedly, under my breath, that’s it’s ok. These feelings are a valued part of me too. I accept them. I accept myself. It’s ok to feel this way.

I allow myself to feel my fear, my love, my joy, my anguish, as it comes up. By heck it hurts sometimes. I feel so drained when I feel all of these emotions in my system. The trouble is, when I don’t acknowledge them, the energy it takes to pretend or deny or stuff down is so much more. So much more tiresome and irksome.

The way to be your own best friend is to accept all of these parts of yourself.

It is trusting that an ideal solution already exists, and sitting with the feelings and the situation, without judgement, until the solution appears.

Ask: “What does this situation or feeling want me to know? What is the message in it?”

Be open to whatever comes up.

It takes bravery. It takes strength. But nothing is worse than the atrophy and inertia, the underlying fear, of denying aspects of yourself, is there?

Love and blessings,

Lucy Loizou.

The Truth about Happily Ever After.

The run up to my birthday this year has brought on some serious self reflection. I am about to become 37. Another three years and I will be 40. I never thought my age would bother me, but I have come to the realisation that somewhere, in the back of my mind, 40 is my adult number. The age at which I am to have it altogether, to have achieved my success, whatever that would look like. When I realised I had three more years to reach this age, I started to realise that maybe, just maybe, I won’t live forever. I started to see my life as a timeline. Going back to the beginning and reliving moments, reliving times when I was just existing, relaxing, playing. Reliving times when I limited myself, not realising my right to be here, my right to be happy in my own way. Living a life of people pleasing and thinking that other people knew more than me and I was obligated to listen to their advice more than my own.

My exact thought was, shouldn’t I be well on my way to my own Happily Ever After by now? Shouldn’t I be sorted? We live a life of expecting this state of being sorted – knowing who we are, the perfect relationship, career, family, home, so that we don’t have to worry about it anymore. A stage of stasis, It is perpetuated by children’s fairy tales, by the movies, and cartoons. Happily Ever After, and that is where the story ends.

What happened to Snow White, Sleeping Beauty – after the wedding? After the story ends? Is that the end of their yearning? Their sole purpose in life?

You might think I’m being cynical, but in this earthly life, in our time here, there is no happy ever after. There might be happier ever after, or pretending to be happy after after. But things don’t just stop once you find the perfect career, the perfect home, the perfect family, friends or social status. Well, – correction, for some people it does stop there, but not just because of some unforeseen illness or sudden death, but because they hold on to that space in time in a death grip that prevents them from growing and learning.

The truth is, Sleeping Beauty, five years into her relationship with the prince, probably discovered that her relationship needed work and went into journalling to or therapy, in order to learn how to communicate with him better. I mean, after sleeping all of those years, one would think that she needed space to find herself, to find out who she really is, and what she wants to do with her life. The prince may have though, goodness, who is this person that I woke up with a kiss? I love her dearly but I do long for another adventure – I want to rescue someone. You see?

The truth is, we are here to evolve and learn throughout our lives. Yes it feels great to reach a goal. Yes it feels great to reach a clearer understanding of yourself and life so far. But no, it doesn’t you mean you should risk changing everything you have accomplished for the chance of something that could be even more fulfilling for you. That you shouldn’t leave your place and level of learning, you shouldn’t challenge your outlook and ideals of life again. Life without change, life without growth, is stagnation. Is death. Slow, painful, soul – destroying death.

As we learn, as we grow, we change. We understand ourselves better. We get Divine guidance to work on new projects, meet new people. These yearnings, though they might feel scary, should be tested out and considered, not just ignored so we can stay in our comfort zone.

Please always stay open and listen to those beautiful inner whisperings, calling you to learn something new. Some new skill, some different way of being or a new healthier habit. Be open to the new friends that come your way, the new experiences and opportunities that the universe brings to you. If you listen to your inner voice, and check it with common sense and a good plan, setting your intention and taking daily action, you will be living a life, not just existing one.

So, why don’t you write a list of all of the ideas and thoughts of your inner whisperings? Write a journal, draw pictures or talk to a trusted friend about the new things you are learning about yourself, and choose which actions you feel would be the best to take on next.

Love and Blessings,
Lucy Loizou.

New Beginnings

 

I am sat on my bed, with the blinds and window open. Incense lit. Sun streaming through the window. Ladies and Gentlemen, Spring is here! I absolutely adore this time of year. It contains so much promise – and the longer days and lighter feel puts a spring in my step. I feel like I can breathe again.

The last couple of years have been very difficult for me. Oh I’ve had some good times – some very good times in fact. Times that I am very grateful for. But it has also involved many changes, and much letting go. I have been going through a process of grieving and healing – and as such, had very little energy left for Angel Illumination. I dug deep and made life simple so that I could focus on my day job and healing – learning about myself.

Now I am on the path of making true and lasting changes. I feel better and stronger in myself, and feel ready to start helping those who need me, those who would benefit, to start on their own journey of self realisation. I’m ready to begin my work of service.

So how can I help you? At the moment, to begin with, I feel ready to offer you my time. I am a Certified Angel Card Reader (TM) through Doreen Virtue, Radleigh Valentine and Hay House, a mother of two, with a background in Therapeutic Humanistic Counselling. I have been through a very robust journey of self healing and understanding in my own life. I have battled with low self esteem, depression and anxiety. Been through failed and painful relationships, childhood learning difficulties, and being a single mother to two teenage boys and not only surviving, but thriving whilst sticking to my values. The journey still lays ahead of me, and my learning will be lifelong, but I am ready now to offer others a helping hand while I learn. You can do this too.

Counselling training began my emancipation towards self belief and autonomy, and an angel card reading began my exploration into the spiritual. It started me on a path of questioning which led me to where I am now. An open minded Christian who doesn’t have all the answers but trusts herself to follow her intuition to guide her to her truth – to her highest good.

So what is an Angel Card Reading you may ask?

Well, in my experience it can be used in two ways.

1- As a divination tool. A deck of angel cards will harness the law of attraction so that when you ask the Divine a question it answers with the cards – you attract the cards with the answer to your question. They are similar to Tarot cards, apart from the fact that instead of asking spirit for the answers, it asks angels, who are messengers of God. For more information about angels, there are a variety of sources online. Please click here http://www.angeltherapy.com/meet-the-angels for one of my favourite sources of information on this topic. I feel more comfortable with Angel cards because angels have a higher perspective – and when you see physical answers in the cards it can be easier to accept than your own thoughts and feelings even though it may confirm them. Also, the messengers and imagery on angel cards are beautiful, loving and kind., whereas the imagery on Tarot to the uninitiated can appear scary and off putting. When you are at the early stages of your spiritual journey this can be very helpful – this is why an angel card reading had a very profound effect on me right at the beginning.
Now I focus more on listening to my inner guidance, but still use cards every morning for an affirmation and to set me up with right thinking for the day.
The most basic angel card reading involves creating a sacred space through prayer and mediation, asking the cards a question, and pulling three cards, signifying past, present and future.
I am not a medium and I don’t always get visions, but it’s the angels who will give you the message anyway. I am however, a sensitive empath, and have told been told by many people that I say the exact words they needed to hear at the right time.

2 – As a tool to challenge yourself and understand where you are at. What thoughts do the cards pull up for you? How do you feel about them? What could it mean about your current state of mind? I won’t be counselling you during our work together, but I can use my background and knowledge to help you to understand yourself and offer the safe space to explore in a helping relationship. I can also direct you to sources of support if you feel you need further help and other services.

So, if you want some gentle loving guidance from the angels or to understand yourself a bit better for your own personal, spring time new beginning, send me a message on my Facebook page, Angel Illumination.

Much love, and many blessings,

Lucy Loizou xxx