Love

It’s taken me a long time to realise this, but love is not “nice”. Love is strong, dynamic, gut wrenchingly honest and fully present. Niceness doesn’t cut it anymore.

It finally hit home while I was sat watching Netflix all day. I decided to watch a Tony Robbins documentary – “I Am Not Your Guru”. I thoroughly recommend it for a form of entertainment while you learn about yourself at the same time. Anyway, he was trying to help a mother who had been letting her daughter be in control of the whole family, and she said to him that she was trying to bring peace to the family. He grabbed her on the top of the head and shouted, in true Tony Robbins style, that there is no peace in family. This, along with all the quiet reflective time I have taken of late, trying to understand my life lessons, really struck a chord with me.

Many people confuse niceness with kindness. However, if you look deep inside, niceness really implies that you want something from someone. You want to be liked – which is natural – we would all like to be liked. But doesn’t it feel incongruent? You are not being genuine when you are being nice. it is like a manipulation tactic, probably derived from child hood – if you are being “nice” you are following the rules and so your parents will love you and thus you will survive into adulthood.
It is bland. If someone tells me I am “nice” as a compliment, it doesn’t really feel like a compliment.

Kindness, on the other hand, comes from the heart. It is about easing the other persons suffering in a genuine way. This is what love is.

When you love someone, it is dynamic. You are invested in their highest good, and thus you are willing to let them feel uncomfortable for a while and hold them in that space if it means that they will come to a place of understanding and learn about themselves. If it will lead to their highest good, their living from their authentic self.

It means being blatantly honest with the people around you, and expecting them to be honest with you, because you are invested in them. It’s not about you anymore – it’s about both of you in relationship to each other.

If you are both living and loving from your authentic selves – you grow. You model healthy relationships to the world. You model genuineness, empathy, strength, unconditional positive regard. These are the core conditions for growth and healing that Carl Rogers posits – the father of person centred therapy.

To truly love someone, including yourself, you have to be strong. You have to risk not being liked for a while. You have to be honest about where you are at, what you feel about a certain situation, where your boundaries are, so the relationship – either with others or with yourself, can flourish and grow. So that you can be loved for who you genuinely are, and so that you can love the other person for who they genuinely are.

Being “nice” doesn’t even begin to cover this.

Here is to an amazing adventure through life where we all learn to love each other more and live from our authentic selves.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this, so please do get in touch.

Wishing you all love and many blessings,

Lucy Loizou xxx

Self -Acceptance

Ok, so I have spent so long these past few months learning what makes me an intuitive sensitive, an empath, and developing my self awareness even further. I am now more aware of all my weak points, where I trip up with negative or even obsessive thinking. Where I give my power away to others. Why I do it.

Facebook and social media at the moment is rife with memes and posts about introverts, empaths, intuitive sensitives – 10 ways to be in a relationship with one, ways they behave, how they struggle. But the overall feeling that i get from them (I have actually read them as they come up. I’ve done my research – both lived it and read it) is a kind of learned helplessness about the whole thing. As if it is a fixed state.

Ladies and gentlemen, there is strength in being an intuitive sensitive. There is strength in being an empath. There is strength in being an introvert. Whoever you are, whatever box you feel you belong in the most, you are here for a reason. You are not an accident or a freak of nature. You are here on purpose and perfect, beautiful, just the way you are.

Yes, it is important to know yourselves. Good ways to get better acquainted with your truest self include personal therapy; meditation; journaling or a chat room filled with like minded people. Even artwork or some kind of creative endeavour can help you to delve within. There are courses all over the internet that can support you in finding yourself.

If you understand your blind spots, your wounds and your learned behaviour patterns which don’t necessarily serve you anymore, then you can act instead of react in any given situation. You can respond from your wisdom and strength. You will know all your secrets already so that people will not be able to manipulate you or press your buttons. Unfortunately, people like this do exist – but they don’t always know or understand their own behaviour. they are coming from a wounded place, and some might have mental health concerns – and personality disorders. Our job is not to hate them, not to resent. But to recognise them and stay away. Nobody will change unless they want to and are invested. Those of us who are sensitives, intuitive and empaths are like walking targets to these kinds of people. Because we are caring – we are here to heal and serve and we can sense what people want and need and feel drawn to help. Send them love, send them healing if you can. Forgive them.

It is a fact that you will come home feeling drained and exhausted, that you will be unsure if you’re feelings and what you’re working towards, your goals, are your own. This is why it’s important to engage in self care. I challenge you now to think of five of your favourite ways to relax and unwind. To let go of the day and find space to understand yourself! One of my ways is to draw a lovely luxurious bath and sit in their for as long as I need, letting the thoughts roll ahead my head until I find some clarity and peace.

Please do not drop anchor in the place where you feel you have an illness, a pathology or that your sensitivity is a weakness. You are strong. You are beautiful. You are a warrior of light and caring. You are a king or a queen. It’s time to embrace yourself and enjoy a fulfilled life.

I love you.

Please love yourself.

Wishing you peace, love and many blessings,

Lucy Loizou.

A Shout Out To All The Messengers

We all have them, those people that come into our lives and change it forever. The ones that stay and somehow, you can’t remember how and when you met them. When they became a permanent member of your tribe. Somehow it feels like you’ve just always had them around. They teach you and learn from you constantly. You have fun and share common ideas and interests and love you when you can’t love yourself – unconditionally.
It is often much easier to recognise the messages and the blessings these people give you and be grateful for them every day.

How about the people though, that come into your life and then disappear somehow? The complete strangers – sometimes their messages can be more difficult to recognise because they seem out of context and you don’t recognise the message until later. The tipsy ladies you chat to in the toilets on your night out, advising you to enjoy yourself but to take things slow with the man you’re dating. The lady dancing next to you that reminds you and. your date that you have natural beauty and that he/she’s lucky to be with you. The customer that you serve that innocently says just the right thing you needed to hear. These things can easily be taken for granted – not recognised as Divine guidance but rather as coincidence. It takes someone open to hearing their guidance in any possible way – open to surprises and listening to their intuition to guide them along their path. When you ask for guidance – be open to hearing it in any way possible – you can even ask for the guidance to be given in a way that is unique to you – in a way that is unmistakeable.

So, what about those people that come into your life that you invest in and feel hurt when you find out that they can’t/won’t stay? What about them? We often feel sad when they leave our sides and can feel disappointed, angry, rejected. As always, my advice is always to allow yourself those feelings. Your feelings are neither right nor wrong – they just are. Allow yourself to grieve the relationship in whatever form it was. Be kind to yourself – and then in true alchemist fashion – mine the experience for gold. For the lessons that the situation gave you. Sometimes the situation gave you the lesson and you will have learnt about yourself and the way you interact with others. Sometimes people come into our lives to teach us something practical – such as a skill, or to deliver a message in a way that we are able to hear it. Such as the boyfriend that guides you and encourages you to apply for that life changing job, or the date that reminds you how to eat healthily and to take your fitness seriously as they are experts in that field. The friend that stays with you until a particular life situation is resolved and then somehow dissipates and you both go your separate ways.

Yes, it easy to feel resentful and bitter and blame these people, wondering why you wasted your time and energy. Even the most “spiritual” people out there go through these feelings – it’s called being human. But if, once you’ve given yourself some time out, some time to grieve and process the experience, you might change your perspective. You might start to see them as angels in disguise, or people that God has used to put you back on the right path.

You might start, in time, to feel grateful for each and every person you meet and come across.

I certainly am. This missive is dedicated and in gratitude to all of the messengers of the world.

Thank you. I offer you blessings and every happiness, and hope for you to easily hear your messages also.

Lucy Loizou.

Alchemy

“The medieval forerunner of chemistry, concerned with the transmutation of matter, in particular with attempts to convert base metals into gold or find a universal elixir:

A seemingly magical process of transformation, creation, or combination”

https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/alchemy (2017)

It was nearly a week ago. I had awoken in the morning with a plan for the day. Some writing perhaps, or a trip into town in peace to run some long awaited errands. I ended up in A&E with my youngest son for several hours.

I could have sat there in bitterness and disappointment, and believe me, I was a little disappointed, not to mention tired. I’d taken a magazine with me but had no inclination to read it. In addition, I was obviously concerned about my son.

A few years ago, the experience might have caused me to hate the whole day. To sit there in lamentation – “why me?”, “why doesn’t anything go the way I want it to?” and the classic one – “nothing goes right for me.”

However, in the last two years, while a succession of events in my life changed and morphed, and while there was a lot of letting go, I had begun a new practise. The practise of waking up in the morning and asking the universe how I might serve. How I might see things in a different light.

I spent time researching and reading about fate, free will choices, our purpose here on earth. I have come to the conclusion that our purpose here on Earth is to learn and grow – but also to find peace and to be happy. To learn to feel comfortable in our own skin and to truly be ourselves, following our own values instead of the crowd.

In a world where things constantly change and morph, and where our own free will choices are tempered by events seemingly outside of our control, how could one find this sense of inner peace and comfort?

By changing our perspective. I do honestly believe now, that everything does happen for a reason. Whether it be a moment of peace or accumulated good, or a lesson or a moment of Karma, there is always something to learn or take from the situation.

Sometimes, we may think that our purpose for a particular day is to do one thing – such as a project we have chosen which we believe is part of our life purpose, and it may indeed be, but the Universe gives us a different mission where we might be of more service for that particular day.

Even if we feel we aren’t doing anything by being there, not actively anyway, even of it feels like time is a wasting, you’re very presence in an area can change the energy. Can heal energy, can bring comfort to those in the surrounding area without you or the people surrounding you knowing why.

By some fluke, my son and I were told to sit in the staff hub of the department while we waited to be called for a CT scan. For over an hour. I spent the time in breathing and focusing in on my body and how I felt. I became more aware of my surroundings and overheard certain situations with unnamed patients in the hospitals, heard whispers of the exhaustion of the overworked staff. I focused my energy on switching to love. I imagined the whole area surrounded by a golden sparkly light. And I prayed for peace and healing for everyone.

We are responsible for the energy we put into the world. Do we want to be a presence of peace and love, or discord and anxiety?
The path to peace comes from accepting yourself – every part of yourself, and treating yourself with love. When you are filled with love and strong energy engendered by self care and self awareness, people pick up on it. They suddenly feel better in your presence without you saying or doing anything. Without understanding why they suddenly feel stronger and more at peace.

This is the art of alchemy – turning base metal into gold.

Your thoughts and feelings are welcome – please leave a comment.

And yes, thankfully, my son got the all clear and we went home – devoting the remainder of the day to self care and preparation for our life purpose.

 

https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/alchemy; Oxford Dictionaries; 11/1/17

Many blessings, and a happy new year,

Lucy Loizou

Stop – Slow – Easy

I wanted to talk today about how important it is to treat yourself with the love and compassion that you give to other people, and that you wish you could receive from others. I have come to realise from my own personal journey of learning that I have been so tough on myself. Expecting myself to constantly be able to give to others, to support them through their times of grief, stress, joy or whatever is going on for them.

But when it’s my turn to go through these things, I somehow start to think I should be able to deal with this, Why am I feeling angry? When will I feel ok again? Why didn’t I get that? How will this situation work out? Or, and I’m pretty sure you’re all familiar with this one – when you’ve spent an hour two or maybe even a whole day just having fun or wasting time watching TV or reading a good book and then you feel guilty for not having achieved anything that day. Sound familiar? I thought so.
I wanted to write about my new mantra that came to me from my Journey work with Ann Winslow.
This is a form of healing work devised my Brandon Bays. Those of you who are interested might like to read her book, The Journey.
I met my two-year old self in this journey, and realised how lonely and neglected she’d been feeling. So I took her up in my arms and gave her the biggest hug possible, and I felt a huge release. When I gave her the hug, I felt the hug within me. That’s when I realised that I hadn’t been giving myself enough love. I’ve been allowing myself to be a critical parent for too long, even though I thought I’d been treating myself with more love than I used to. This is a trap that is easy for us all to fill into.

I also realised through this session that I kept returning to fear during the meditation. I worried that I wouldn’t be able to see or really believe the journey I was being guided on, or that it wasn’t ok what I was seeing, because I was supposed to be seeing something else – the right answer. Or that I wouldn’t see anything at all and that the session would have been a complete waste of money. But I was surrounded by so much love that I noticed a new habit-forming. A voice inside kept telling me to slow down, relax, and let go. Accept whatever I saw and share it with Ann. It was ok to just see what I was seeing, or not see anything at all. And when I couldn’t see anything, Ann shared with me that this was common – sometimes that angels only want to share so much with you. The rest is for later.
So this is how I came across my new mantra for life. Stop! Slow down. Easy.

This is about meeting yourself where you are. Whether that’s excitement, joy, love, fear. Take a moment now to check in. Check in with each area of your body. How does it feel? Is there pain anywhere?

Treat yourself as you would treat a young vulnerable child. Speak to whatever part of your body that speaks to you. Say “I love you, I hear you. I thank you for everything you do for me, but I am in control now. You can relax and let go because I am in charge of this situation.”

Give yourself a big hug. Speak gently to yourself. Then do something that brings you back to your place of joy and happiness.

Write a list of 100 things that bring you joy. That help you to lose yourself in the moment and just be. These can be places, fabrics, colours, tastes. Some of them you will need to do when you are alone in your personal space. You might find however, that there are some that you can do when you are out in public but need to build your strength and joy back when you have lost yourself for a while.
One of my favourite things to do after I have come back to myself is imagine myself surrounded in a cloak of light of my favourite colour – or whatever colour my mind’s eye brings to me at the time. This is something I use at work on a regular basis. It helps to bring me back to my true self.

If you notice that there is some murky feeling all of a sudden, if you’re too tired to work and you feel foggy headed and grumpy, take a deep breath. Check in with each and every part of your body. Don’t fight what you are feeling. You’re feelings are there for a reason. They are probably telling you that some good quality self-care is needed, or some work on your priorities and projects. Accept it. Ok, so I’m feeling tired/grumpy/foggy headed/silly. That’s ok – it’s allowed. Send whatever you are feeling love. It might help to use some form of image. Like a golden light of a syrupy texture, or a light pink, sparkly light that slowly travels around your body to where it is needed.
Notice if anything starts to feel different. Once you have started to accept yourself as you are, where you are, then things will start to change for you anyway. You will be present to yourself and aware if things need to change, and what steps you need to take to bring about this change, or even that you are feeling wonderful, and that it’s a good idea to take a minute and fully embrace this wonderful feeling.

Please take note however, part of accepting yourself where you are is recognising and accepting that you might need a bit of help. We are social creatures and if these tips don’t seem to be helping, you might need some extra support, like talking to a trusted friend, a counsellor or even your doctor. I have probably said this many times but I don’t see any reason why spirituality and self-care can’t be used alongside science and western medicine. The two can work well together.
Especially if you are going through or have been through a fresh trauma or a recently bereaved.
Seeking help is a form of self-care and being your own best friend too.
This is truly the path to becoming you’re own best friend. You’re relationship with yourself is the one that you will be in for the longest time – isn’t worth giving it 100% , 5*treatment?

Those of you who would be interested in a session with Anne can find her at:

http://www.myjourneytherapy.co.uk

Love and Angel Blessings,
Lucy Loizou xxx

Happy Easter!

I can’t believe another Easter has come around so quickly. I feel so energised this time around. Easter for me symbolises a time of new beginnings, of rebirth. A clean slate. The daffodils are in bloom. The sky is a little bluer. The sun shines a little brighter. Don’t you just love the sound of birdsong in the air? Doesn’t it make your heart beat a little faster? Your soul feel a little lighter? There is definitely a spring in my step this morning.

I feel like over the last few months I have been going through an emotional time, but with a definite sense of changes coming my way. I’ve written about my fear of change before in my blogs, about how, in previous years, I have experienced life changing events that haven’t always felt positive at the time, about half way through the year. It felt different this year. Like an excitement brewing. I have spent the last few months completely de – cluttering my house – letting go. Letting go of so much. The way I used to think. Painful memories. Remembering joyful memories.  Shedding tears of joy, tears of gratitude. Tears of release and forgiveness, for myself and others.

I have been brave this month and finally dealt with issues that have been influencing me, keeping me stuck. I have spoken truths to those whom I love. I have been practising being more authentically myself. I have been releasing the need to feel liked – believe me, that is such a freeing experience. My favourite life coach, Cynthia Occelli, once said “What other people think of you is none of your business” and it is so true. And over the last three nights, with the full moon, I have felt such a powerful release of feelings – shedding and shedding the weight of my burdens. I’m actually curious, has anyone else experienced this magical energy of the last few months?

I am excited about the future. I am excited about the gifts the Divine creator  – the energy that created the whole universe and keeps it together, whatever you like to call it, is bringing me. Things are changing for the better.

However you celebrate Easter, I wish you Love, Peace, Happiness and Joy over the next few weeks. Please feel free to share what you feel excited about. What you are grateful for.

Love,

 

Lucy Loizou

 

 

 

 

 

Earthly Mother, Gratitude and Social Responsibility

Hello again. So,I was cuddled up on the sofa last night with my fiance watching Blue Planet. I don’t regularly watch documentary’s but I am quite interested in watching nature sgows and human interest stories. It struck what a beautiful, magical world we live in. An intricately designed ecosystem, where, when left to it’s own devices, nature flourishes and grows, working in Divine harmony. I had this thought last night while I watched the beautiful world under the seas, and almost immediately afterwards my brain took me to all the war torn countries and the corruption but my heart and soul wanted to argue. This earth of ours, this society, does, in my opinion, have the capacity and potential to become harmonious, blissful, heaven on earth.

I think it is too easy, the way the world seems now, to become jaded and cynical, or to become so worried and stressed that depression and apathy sets in. But consider this … maybe if we all took at least ten minutes every day to find something beautiful about the world, about our lives, it would instil a bit of hope, which would give us the energy and pull for us to all make our difference and do our bit. I think we are all due a negativity detox. Do you find yourself constantly watching the news? Reading scary and negative articles in the papers and on social media? I say stop. Limit it to at least once a week. Limit it to just enough that you know enough to choose what you can do to make a difference. Knowledge is power but overwhelm can drown you.

Here comes the next bit – social responsibility. Which particular issue makes you angry? Which inspires you to take action? There is always something you can do to make a difference. Please, take five minutes now to make a list of the issues that are closest to your heart and any action steps you can take to either raise awareness or make a change. Can you sign petitions? Can you organise a fundraising event or campaign? Doing something about it can help release any negativity or frustration you are feeling and empower you.

I am lucky enough to work for a company that works ethically and safely, and campaigning is part of my job. It has been made easy for me because I get training, but there are sources of support out there. Knowledge is power my friends. Educate yourselves. Take your action, and then sit back and get on with your lives – continue with the process of becoming the best you that you can be. Enjoy the beauty that our Earthly Mother has to offer.

To start you off, Lush UK is running a campaign right now asking our government to protect and keep the Hunting Act, because there will be a vote on Wednesday to decide whether to loosen the terms of the act, putting all forms of hunting back on the table. I feel that this is a cruel sport and so many Britons campaigned for years to abolish hunting, so why are the people not being listened to? You can tell the functionality of a society by the way it treats it’s most vulnerable. What is the vote saying about us as a people? Why go backwards instead of forwards? If you feel the same, please visit your local Lush store ASAP and sign one of our postcards to ask your MP to attend the vote and stick up for our friends without voices. Check out the link below for more information:

https://www.lush.co.uk/article/hound-your-mp-keep-ban

Wishing you all many blessings, peace, love and light,

Lucy Loizou xxx

Hello world!

Hiya!

It is ridiculously late and I’ve been working all day. However, I got the idea in my head to start writing this blog, and I couldn’t go to sleep until I put my plan into action! My angels have been guiding me for months to start writing again, and to share my journey. Like a natural procrastinator, I have been putting it off. I have been afraid. I have listened to the inner critic that tells me that everything I have to say has been said before. Something changed these last few weeks and I have been able to tell said inner critic to shut up. She is now bound to a chair with rope, in my head, and brown tape around her mouth.

This strengthened my inner cheerleader and wise sage. She tells me that the words may have been said before, but not with my words. Maybe somebody needs to hear the message in my words in order for it to sink in. Maybe my experiences will enable somebody else to be true to themselves, to be gentle and forgiving of themselves. To accept and love themselves. With this in mind, I had the urge to begin my work.

So let me ask you, are you ready to silence your own inner critic and release the real, empowered you? Where will you begin?

I hope you will enjoy staying with me on my journey and that my words will inspire, comfort, support and entertain you. I would love to hear from you, please share your experiences with me too, and we can learn and grow together.

Many blessings and sweet dreams,

Lucy Loizou